October 16, 2014

Looking at my Life
I see that only Love has been my soul’s companion.
From deep inside my soul cries out;
Do not wait,
 Surrender for the sake of Love.
        ~ Jalaluddin Rumi

As you may recall, I wrote about forgiveness earlier this year, "To Forgive is Divine." In this newsletter I wrote from the perspective of the giver, sharing that to grant forgiveness sets us free and allows us to move forward in grace and love. Today, I would like to write from the perspective of the receiver.
Recently, I have been forgiven. This came after a painful few weeks of some not-so-great behavior on my part; of my hurting someone I care about very much and betraying their trust. Now, I can make excuses and rationalizations for my behavior, and believe me I did! But this doesn't change the fact that I was passive aggressive and inconsiderate. Sometimes, when I am feeling afraid, hurt or righteous I react badly, inexcusably. And yet, after considerable consequence, I was excused, granted pardon.
This does not mean that all is back to "normal." Time, space and consideration are needed to allow healing and trust to rebuild. Things have changed and will continue to evolve. But the most profound aspect of this experience was that as soon as I was forgiven, love, the love which we all seek, came flooding into my heart! Suddenly my defenses dropped, I was able to see and feel so clearly how this whole thing has hurt and exhausted both my dear friend and myself.  A deep well of compassion moved through me. It was visceral, in my body and in my awareness. I felt I was in the presence of some divine unfolding, deeply humbled, surrendered and grateful. I remembered or relived how the deepest spiritual practices are of surrender, letting go.
Whether giving or receiving forgiveness, just do it! Allow it!  Holding grudges, justifying and righteousness are so incredibly exhausting and only take us further from what we so deeply desire, and what is ultimately true; that we are divine beings and souls seeking reunion.
In Love, always,

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