I hope you are well and at peace today.
I have been observing a pattern; when I return home after being away, especially if at a yoga retreat or training, I often go through waves of sadness which can sometimes last for weeks. Recently, I decided to really look upon this and see if I might find some insight into the source of these feelings. I realized, I was not missing where I had been. I was not missing the people or place, or the practice. I realized I live in a beautiful place with wonderful people around me, and I am grateful for my practice every day.
I was more open, however, and thus tuning into a collective sadness. I felt sensitized to a pervasive un-ease, which seems to permeate our culture. It's like the water we swim in; we're hardly aware of it, but it's always there. Looking further, I hypothesized that the source of this unease is an over-zealous embrace of Puritanism and Materialism. Together they create a vortex of dis-ease.
Taken in moderation, both are fine and helpful; but as they are so pervasive in our culture, they cut us off from Source, and leave us feeling disconnected and anxious. We are encouraged to repress our feelings and sensations, to control them at all cost; and in the meantime, are encouraged to accumulate and control things, including relationships. This is extremely exhausting and makes us feel disconnected from ourselves and each other. We subsequently experience a feeling or belief that we're never quite good enough... So sad!
How might we turn this tide? Feel and simplify: Explore and embrace our feelings and sensations. All of them! Not just the pleasant ones. Build our capacity for sensation, feelings and aliveness. Connect to the elements; earth, water, fire, air. This is where the Source resides. In the meantime, simplify our lives; let go of stuff, hold relationships lovingly but lightly, and lessen our need to control outcomes.
I love you.